Idaho State Capitol| Boise, Idaho

The Capitol building in Boise was on the top of my list for our Boise bucket list. When our final week in Idaho came, I was getting a little anxious. Packing up and getting organized to leave took a great deal more time than I had anticipated. I swear, the small amount of stuff we brought from home multiplied by 3 by the time we left! Crazy how that happens – especially with kids!

I had wanted to schedule a full tour, which you can do here , but was not able to as you need at least two weeks notice. So, I opted to just walk in, which anyone can do during their business hours, and we gave ourselves a personalized tour. The website has tons of information, so I was ready to give my kids as best a tour as I could just by myself. There are also informational videos you can watch, as well as a printable scavenger hunt that you and your kids can do! It’s a very well done website.

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The gardens surrounding the Capitol were gorgeous!

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Memphis knocked but Butch was not there

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All the Governors of Idaho

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I loved this statue of Washington on the 3rd floor

There is so much to see! It’s best to start on the bottom floor. Inside there is a small museum about Idaho history, a gift shop (which I avoided at all costs with my kids. I didn’t want to hear “Can I have this? Can I have this?!”) , and some informational videos that you can view.

Since my children’s attention spans are about as big as a goldfish, we didn’t spent much time in the museum area. Instead, we went up one floor to the rotunda. This was my favorite floor! Why you ask? Because you had the complete view to the top of the dome. It’s gorgeous!

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There are 43 stars inside the faux oculus. Why? because Idaho is the 43rd state!

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The above photo was taken while I was laying flat on my back in the center of the rotunda. My kids ended up laying down with me, and this group of older women just thought it was hilarious. They all ended up laying down with us too and we gazed up at the dome together for a few minutes. I wish we could have gotten a selfie with all of us laying there. Ah well.

It really is a gorgeous building. It was built in 1905, and was recently rennovated and rededicated in 2010.

We had a great time exploring the House and Senate rooms. Thankfully neither was in session the day we went, so we were able to go inside. The kids were really excited about the soft chairs they could sit in.

 

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One of my favorite things about the building itself was the replica of the Liberty Bell outside of it! It made this Philly girl’s heart sing! The bell even works, (we tried with permission of the security guard who also snapped our photo).

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If you’re in the neighborhood and have some free time the Capitol building is definitely a must see!

XoXo,

Heather

The Raw Brunette

 

 

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Whoa, Easy Girl

Is it weird to associate our inner selves with animals? Well I do. A spirit animal, if you will. Or a patronus for any other Harry Potter friends out there. Mine has always undeniably been a horse. When I was a girl I used to draw horses obsessively. I have always been compelled to them; drawn in by their muscled frames, long beautiful manes, and large intelligent eyes. I read books about them, and Black Beauty was one of my most favorite movies as a girl. Now, the really sad part is that I have only actually ridden a horse maybe twice in my life. So the fact that I have always felt this deep love for horses, and have barely any experience riding them is a bit odd. That’s something I would like to change- who wants to help a girl out??

Partly, I think I have always felt this pull towards horses was because they are such wild spirits. Sure, horses can be tamed but it would still run free if it had the choice. Many times in my life I have come to crossroads wanting to follow the unpaved path, and have to reign myself in. I am more of a free spirit and have such a laid back attitude with life that I know drives my husband crazy sometimes. He is very disciplined and always has a plan. I never have a plan and often just wing it, or just want to completely do away with any plan and run away. It’s a struggle sometimes for me to balance it all out.

As a girl, I always wondered, and often fantasized about who my biological family was. Sometimes I would dream of setting off on an adventure to find them. I loved (and love) my adopted family but sometimes it was obvious that my sister and I were adopted. Not in a bad way, necessarily, but there are definitely traits that we inherited from our biological families that we had even without knowing those people. Now that I know my biological mother’s family, there have been so many “aha!” moments when we realize the similarities. I now know that so much of the free spirit in me is from my birth mom Sherri. She too, loves horses and even had one of her own when she was a young girl.

It’s crazy to think about how woven together we all have been- even though it took us almost 30 years to meet. Life is so funny.

Running Wild

I found my birth mom Sherri in 2007. My twin sister Aly and I had joined a reunion website (Adoption.com) on a whim once we had decided to start looking for her in 2005. After a while, we stopped checking it because we were pretty sure we would never be able to find her. We had no information – none. All we knew was the city and hospital we were born in. It was definitely frustrating. At one point we even thought about hiring a private investigator but even if we had paid one they would have had an extremely hard time as well with the limited information we had in a closed adoption.

By chance in April of 2007 Aly called me in a panic. She could barely speak over the phone and all the words were spilling out at such a fast pace I had to get her to calm down. She was finally able to inform me that we had a response to our profile on Adoption.com! I told her to not get excited yet- it may not be her. I didn’t want to get my hopes up even though my insides were all screaming and wanting to jump through my skin.

Miraculously, when we asked her to send some photos, she emailed pictures of us at birth that we had copies of too as well as some of us with her the day we were born. It was a very unreal experience. My brain was having a hard time handling the fact that we had indeed achieved the impossible and found her. When I got home from work that evening in Ellicott City, Maryland, my entire body was buzzing with this energy I could not make stop, so I put on my running clothes and I ran. I ran until my lungs hurt and  I threw up. Running seemed to be the only thing to keep my heart up to speed with my brain which was going a mile a minute. I flung myself in a grassy field near my apartment complex drenched in sweat until my head stopped spinning.

We had done the impossible. We had found her.

Putting on the Blinders

When I called Mom to tell her the incredible news, she tried her best to pretend that she was excited. She could not, however, hide the fact that she was very upset. She actually started to sob over the phone and it made me so confused and sad. When I asked her what was wrong she told me

“I am happy you two have found her, but I am afraid you will leave me and Dad behind.”

My excitement was quelled by this. Of course I would never do that to my family, the thought had never occurred to me at all. No one was being replaced or being left behind; this was such an incredible moment that I thought would bring people together not apart.  Looking back and understanding more than I did at 22, especially now that I too am a mom, I can see where my Mother’s fears were coming from. It’s very normal for any adoptive parent, (I know my Dad had similar fears), to feel this way about their child searching for their birth family. But in that moment I just felt pain. I was confused why she wasn’t more excited for me and Aly. I knew we had a right to do this and it didn’t feel wrong. But seeing how upset she was and because I loved my mom so much, I decided to stop telling her information about our birth mom. It was not an easy decision to make, but I have never been one who enjoys or tries to harm people, especially those I love, so I felt it was the right thing to do. I would continue my journey to discover my birth family alone.

In 2013, I finally met Sherri in person along with her husband Rick. It was such an extraordinary evening that is impossible to describe with words. Seeing her and actually putting my arms around her fulfilled this sense of purpose I had been searching for. I felt a missing piece of my heart that I never knew to be missing was now replaced. It all felt so right and was such a monumental, emotional event that I felt I could not share with my family. It broke my heart to not tell them, but because I loved them so deeply, I didn’t want to cause anyone harm. Over the next three years as my mother’s health declined, it only further solidified my choice to not tell. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel like she was being replaced as her life on Earth was quickly coming to an end. There were many times that I wanted to tell her, and even started to, but would quickly decide not to. My fears of hurting my already sick mother who had been through so much always stopped my lips from moving.

Two Worlds Coming Together

My in-laws lived in Dayton, Nevada for about five years. In November of 2007, Jess and I drove out there from Utah to celebrate Thanksgiving. The day after the holiday, we packed lunches, bundled up, and drove on four wheelers into the mountains to find some petroglyphs and enjoy the beautiful scenery. On the trip back down from exploring we saw a herd of wild mustangs from the top of a ridge we were on. I was able to snap a few photos of them, and was so excited to see some in the wild because it’s pretty rare to do so nowadays.

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I was feeling on top of the world after that! The little girl inside me was screaming because I had actually seen wild mustangs in person! A few more miles out we stopped for a few minutes for a break, and to our surprise, a different group of mustangs appeared out of nowhere not 10 feet from where we stood! I audibly gasped when a dark brown one came within 5 feet of us, ears up and forward, curiously looking us over, and then wandering back to the herd. He apparently had determined that we weren’t a threat, because they stayed right where they were, completely unbothered by our presence. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I quickly snapped a photo before we moved on, but even the photo does not do the beautiful moment justice. Wild mustangs are usually quite shy, so the fact that this family of mustangs came close to our family group was exciting. It was a beautiful moment where our two worlds came together.

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My mother did not live to see my birth mom like I had dreamed. She passed away in February of 2015 – finally succumbing to 18 years of hell that cancer wreaked on her body. A few months after she was gone, I decided to tell Dad about Sherri. I was nervous, but Aly and I decided he needed to know since we never got to tell Mom.  Understandably, he took a while to digest the information, but he handled it very well. I was so excited and so relieved. In January of 2017 a dinner was set up in which my dad and his new wife, my stepmom Christy would be meeting Sherri and Rick as well as my biological grandparents DeVon and Dianne. The night was wonderful; it was another beautiful moment of two families coming together. It made my heart so happy, despite the dull pain that my mother was not able to be there too.

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Left to Right: Devon, Dianne, Me, Rick, Sherri, Aly, Christy, and Dad (Doug)

 The Movie that Broke Me

When I finally watched the film “Lion” about two months ago, it wrecked me to such a spectacular degree that I felt physically sick. In fact, I had to quickly turn off the movie when the credits started to roll, and rush upstairs to my bedroom where I continued to cry. I did not want to disturb my basement renters whose bedroom is directly below our tv room. I had previously read the book the film is based on “A Long Way Home” by Saroo Brierly, which was emotional in itself to read, but something about seeing it playing out really hit home for me.

Although Saroo and I have very different stories, his much more tragic than my own, the root of what he was needing to do was the same as mine: a need to find where he came from. He needed to find his family in India whom he had gotten lost from by getting on a train that took him across the country. Saroo was never educated enough to know the different dialects so he could not tell anyone where he was from, and eventually got put into the system after living on the streets in Calcutta for months. A kind couple from Tasmania adopted him, and he was flown across the world to live and grow up. Once he was grown, he had all but forgotten where he came from, until in his late twenties, he was suddenly bombarded by memories, and was then determined to find his family.

When he starts to search, he decides to not tell his parents what he’s up to. He doesn’t want them to think he is ungrateful for his life and the love that they have given him. While we were watching the movie, Jess turned to me and said:

“This is how you felt, isn’t it?” and all I could do was nod my head. The lump in my throat was preventing me from speaking. That was EXACTLY how I felt. Exactly. Saroo’s feelings resonated so strongly in me, and I am sure with many adoptees who are searching for their biological families.

I hope not to spoil the movie for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but he does eventually track down his family with the help of Google Earth. He then finally tells his mom and dad what he has been up to. His mom is overjoyed for him, and supports him as he leaves for India. Once there, he tracks down his old family home, and with the help of strangers is able to find his mother. Their meeting again was so emotional for me, because my meeting with Sherri was no different. There was lots of hugging and crying and catching up.

Saroo calls his mother that night back in Tasmania and leaves her a message that says he found his mother and that she understands that they are his parents now, and she is so thankful to them for raising him and giving him a good life. He also tells his mom and dad in the message that this changed nothing for him about them as his parents and that he loves them. Nicole Kidman, who plays Sue Brierly in the film, has two adopted children in real life, and has said that she made this movie for them. In an interview she said this:

‘The movie is a love letter to my children who are adopted and it’s not about anything other than, “I wanted you whatever your journey is, I’m here to love and support you.” That’s what I connected to. I wanted to make the film for them,’ she explains.

‘When you are an adoptive mother, of course you think about the birth mother  and the birth parents and what it all means and how our lives are intertwined in some way, whether the child choose to find the birth parents or not.’  – Source : Daily Mail

Read More Here

At the very end of the film, they show real footage of Saroo bringing Sue to India and meeting his mother, Kamala. This was the part that really ripped me apart. Seeing these two mothers who were a part of each others lives even though they had never met, embracing and shedding tears of such happiness was a moment I suddenly wished that Mom and Sherri could have had. They should have had it. I felt responsible that this never happened for them. Choosing to not tell my parents about this journey I was on, inevitably lead to this point, where they were both denied the chance to meet and embrace and cry because Mom passed away before I could better navigate my new relationship with Sherri and introduce them to each other. I just felt sick after the movie was done, and that feeling lasted a few days. My inner horse was already spooked and  running far away, and I felt past the point of being able to reign myself in.
This feeling of guilt and sadness is something I will carry heavily in my heart probably for the rest of my life. After a few weeks, I finally brought the subject up to Sherri via email. When she responded, she said this to me and as per usual, she set my soul at ease:
“What was lost to me in not meeting your mother is restored to me every time you tell me a story about your mother. Those few hours in my car on your mother’s birthday when you told me stories of her and your childhood were so precious and beautiful. A gift to me on your mother’s birthday. It also reflects in the way you walk in this world. In the same way that we are often amazed at those genetic similarities, I am amazed at the differences that I attribute to your mother. And I remain grateful for the ways in which we are different just as much as the ways we are alike. You are gifted with a wholeness that comes from being part of two women.”
I will forever be grateful for the two women who I can call mother in this life.
XoXo,
Heather
The Raw Brunette
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Table Rock | Boise, Idaho

Perhaps one of the most iconic spots in the Boise area is that of Table Rock. It’s easy to see why once you’re standing at the top with a beautiful panoramic view of Treasure Valley,  as well as the Owyhee Mountain range. The 60 foot high white cross that adorns the summit of the butte is equally loved and hated by native Boiseans. The area itself is sacred ground of the Northern Shoshone tribe, who apparently used the butte and surrounding caves for ceremonial purposes. Apparently, it’s a sore spot why nothing is there to preserve or respect the Shoshone tribe, and instead the white cross stands tall.  IMG_4693IMG_4697IMG_4694

The cross actually stands on private land, owned by the Junior Chamber of Commerce, (Jaycees), who purchased the land in a very shady auction which the general public was not even made aware of. So, the cross itself has a pretty turbulent and controversial history. BUT, controversy aside, it still is extremely cool to hike to the top and explore the surrounding caves. It’s become quite the graffiti mecca, and there is always new artwork to admire.

You can either start from the bottom where the trail starts by the old Idaho State Penitentiary, (which is also highly recommended to go and see!) The littles and I started at the bottom of the trail, but only made it about half a mile and had to turn back. It didn’t help that it was 96 degrees out when we started. So, we got back in the car and decided to drive to the top of the bluff instead. It ended up working out much better for us, and we were able to explore all the little caves and crevices.

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clearly, they were thrilled to hike up. You can see the cross that’s blurry in the top right corner. We had a ways to go.

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Even the artwork on the electrical buildings on the hike up from the parking lot are impressive! The details on them are phenomenal.

Once we sat on the summit for a few minutes and took in the gorgeous panoramic views, we hiked down to the caves right below that encircle the entire bluff. Memphis is really into Batman right now, so he kept exclaiming “I found a Batman cave Momma!” Too cute.

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Table Rock is a must see on my list of things to do in Boise! If you’re in the area, definitely go! Me and my littles had a great time exploring it and maybe one day we can go back and actually hike up to the top instead of drive.

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XoXo,

Heather

The Raw Brunette

Oregon Round 2

Life has gotten so busy and I am really behind on keeping up with our adventures this summer! Here is day two of our amazing trip to Portland, Oregon a few weeks ago.

We spent the entire day on Saturday at the coast. I have seen the beaches in California but never up in the PNW. It was breathtaking! The drive itself was beautiful, and windy, (thankfully my very carsick prone children did not throw up!).

Once we arrived at our first stop of the day, Oswald West State Park, we hiked down to the beach. The hike down was yet another iconic greenest green forest. I could have just sat in that little patch of forest all day and been just fine. But, the beach was calling! The pathway was filled with natural tree houses and little caves which the kids, particularly Memphis, loved exploring. The beach we hiked to is called Smugglers Cove.

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So, in an epically bad move on my part, I left our swimsuits at Sherri and Rick’s home back in Vancouver. Oops! We ended up lucking out and coming on a super warm day too, so it was even worse. Thankfully, I had on a tank top so I was okay, and the kiddos are still small enough to not be embarrassed so they stripped down to their undies and had fun regardless!

Jess, my sister Missy, and her boyfriend Nate surfed for about 3 hours. It was fun to watch them out there. The water was extremely cold so they needed wetsuits, but all three of them had a great time. It has been quite a few years since Jess has surfed, but he seemed to just pick it right back up.

Meanwhile,  Sherri, Rick, and I braved the high winds and watched the kiddos play endlessly in the sand and water. Rick even found a whole dead crab which Memphis played with non-stop for an hour. He kept sadly saying “Mommy when will it wake up?”. I finally could no longer handle the awful rotting smell of the crab meat and we threw it in the ocean.

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After we were done with that beach, we went and ate dinner at a lovely little seaside cafe in Manzanita called the Big Wave Cafe . It was delicious, and everything is fresh. The Chef, Brian Williams, even came and chatted with us for a moment and when we commented how delicious the crab was, he said they had been crawling around the kitchen just a few hours before! If you’re ever in the area, check this place out!

Sherri and Rick headed home after dinner, but the rest of us wanted to see Cannon Beach, so we headed back up north to see the iconic rocks. As soon as I saw them, I couldn’t help myself and had to let out a “Hey you guyyyysssss!”. Please tell me you all have seen ‘The Goonies’??

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Driving home that night Memphis fell asleep and barely even noticed when we removed him from the car, got him changed and put him to bed. It was such a good, long, and fun day for everyone.

The pacific northwest coast is something I will dream about until I see it again.

XoXo,

Heather

The Raw Brunette

A Kitschy Surprise in Melba, Idaho

When I packed the kids in the van and drove over to Melba, Idaho a few weeks ago I was under the impression that we were going to a “fairy” trail. Shay my daughter is obsessed with all things fairy and magical so I was sure she would love it. When we pulled in to Cleo’s Ferry Museum and Nature Trail I was a little confused but pleasantly surprised to find it was in fact a “ferry” museum which was a nod to the still standing 150-year-old buildings which at one time housed the ferry services across the Snake River. What I soon discovered was that a man by the name of Dr. Samuel “Pappy” Swayne and his wife Cleo purchased this land and constructed buildings to house his medical practice and for them to reside in. When Pappy passed away in 1976, Cleo decided to turn their property into a religious nature trail.

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The sign that we passed as we entered says it’s a “faith adventure”. Anyone could see as you start your journey walking the trail that it is heavily influenced by Christian religious beliefs whether the various decorations are subtle or not so subtle. Cleo put up bird houses along the trail which all have included signs with whimsical and religious quotes on them about life, love, and family. Judging just by looking, there must be thousands of houses so that feat was amazing in itself to achieve! This part of the trail also houses a cemetery which is the final resting place of the beloved Pappy Swayne and various other family members.

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There’s also a kitschy side of this trail. Mixed amongst the Christian decor are spectacularly kooky lawn decorations including life-sized African safari animals, a full Hansel and Gretel set, a random rocket ship housing an alien with included “Take me to your leader” sign, and a collection of bronze sculptures including historical figures. I took a photo with William Shakespeare because I recently discovered he is a distant cousin of mine! (And by distant I mean like 14th cousin twice removed or something crazy like that!) The dichotomy of different worlds just kind of makes you cock your head and say “Huh.”. But it’s also a very interesting contrast and just makes you feel like you’re in a giant attic of your favorite grandma. Despite it being almost 100 degrees that day, we enjoyed our nature walk. There are also chickens roaming free, and there is a muster of peacocks which the kids had a phenomenal time feeding, and we loved seeing the babies!

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If you’re in the neighborhood, head on over to Cleo’s Ferry Museum and Nature Walk. It was a very unique discovery for us, and whether you’re religious or not you can appreciate all the time and work that went into this beautiful space.

XoXo,

Heather

The Raw Brunette

 

Wahclella Falls and the Fish Hatchery at Bonneville Dam in Oregon

What a weekend! We drove up to Portland to visit my family and we definitely packed as much as we could in the 4 days we had up there. I wish we could have stayed longer, but it’s just a good reason to go back! We took two days to explore the breathtaking Columbia Gorge. There’s so many hikes and waterfalls- it would literally take a week maybe two to see it all! Because we have littles and little legs we needed to pick holes that were kid friendly.

The first day we went to the gorge, we hiked Wahclella Falls. It was not a flat or easy hike, and Memphis protested and demanded to be held several times, but we survived. Us out of towners were pretty cold at first and all had our layers on, but by the time we reached the falls I was sweating! The weather here is so unpredictable but we got really lucky and it ended up being sunny and pretty warm.

 

 

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The hike itself was gorgeous. I still cannot get over the moss covered trees! My kids called them “fuzzy trees”. My stepdad Rick was a fountain of knowledge pointing out every plant we passed and telling us what it was stinging nettle, and Poison Oak which thankfully no one walked through or touched! We even picked some delicious wild raspberries along the trail, but also saw salmon berries,Oregon Grapes, and huckleberries! We saw a few garter snakes and Rick picked it up while the littles squealed with delight.

The Falls were quite impressive. The greenery surrounding Wahclella makes it seem like you should be in Ireland instead of Oregon. It was quite magical really. We made our way to the water which was too cold to swim in, but the littles had a good time throwing rocks in the water for a long time. Okay, the adults threw some rocks too! The kids explored a cool dripping cave, and then we headed back down the trail to the cars.

That same day, we visited the Fish Hatchery which is across the road from the Wahclella Trailhead at the Bonneville Dam.

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We saw lots of fish, and even Bigfoot! It was worth driving over to see the hatchery.I had never been to one before, so it was very interesting to walk by all the huge tanks holding the baby fish in them. Tons of tiny fish were leaping out of the water which the kids enjoyed watching. We moved on to the Rainbow Trout which were so vividly colored, and the kids liked throwing in fish food and watching a giant writhing pile of rainbow fish fight over it.

From there, we moved to the sturgeon viewing areas. Man, were these prehistoric fish impressive! They even had a viewing window under their pond so you could watch them swimming underwater. The largest one they had must have been at least 10-15 feet long! Memphis loved looking at their eyes, and Calvin loved to point at the pieces of dead fish along the bottom of their tank. Shay just couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that they are as old as dinosaurs.

Once we were done watching them, we drove up to the actual dam. Inside, we took the elevator down so we were underneath it, and they had these viewing windows where you could watch the fish swimming up the ladder from under the water. We maybe saw one fish from under there, but were much more interested in the alien-like Lamprey which were suctioned to the windows! Their alarmingly sharp little teeth made it look like a horror film! Honestly, I could have watched them all day. I never knew that they are basically leeches and suck the fluids out of the fish they attach to! Calvin started talking to a group of people and told them that “They are basically related to Dracula!” which made us all laugh! He’s such a good tour guide!

We walked outside to watch the fish leap up the ladder from the top of the water. Sadly, we saw plenty of fish but none of them were jumping so we didn’t stay long. We got a good view of the dam from up there, and then called it a day.

It was such a jam-packed day of fun and we really lucked out with the weather being so nice and sunny! I snapped this photo of Memphis when we pulled into my birth mom Sherri’s house.

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You know it was a good day when he’s asleep in the car (which he never does anymore) AND covered in dirt!

XoXo,

Heather

The Raw Brunette

The Beat Goes on

IMG_1956.JPGFrom the moment I opened my eyes this morning that famous song by Sonny and Cher has been playing over and over in my head. I have no idea why “The Beat Goes On” chose to be on repeat today but I think it may have something to do with the fact that it’s my mother’s birthday. This is the third birthday we have had to commemorate since she passed away, and the sting of her being gone is still a sharp one.

Thankfully, we were exploring the gorgeous Columbia Gorge in Oregon for most of the morning and afternoon with my birth mom and her husband so I was distracted. But now that we have been on the road back to Boise (I took the first shift driving), I had a lot of time to sift through my feelings of what today means.

There is no direct link that I have with that particular song and my mom, although I know she loved Sonny and Cher back in the day, but those four particular words just kept standing out to me. It took me back to the night that she passed away. The wave of initial shock of her passing had gone, and my siblings and I had moved to the hallway from the hospital room she had been in. I decided to go back in for a few minutes to be with her alone. It was peaceful in there now that all the machines were off and all I could hear was my steady breathing as I sat on the edge of her bed. I held held her hand in mine. It was now cold and seemed foreign without her life inside it. I couldn’t physically speak but was sending her my love through my broken heart as tears silently slid down my face.

My eyes were drawn to the watch she was wearing. It was a beautiful silver one my dad had given her a few years before. I stared at the face for a moment and watched as the second hand was still ticking away- completely unaware that it’s wearer was now deceased. The thought suddenly was impressed upon me that this was not the end for her, but just a small part of eternity. Her mortal life was over, but there was much more ahead for her in the afterlife. Life continued on. It was a tender mercy for me to physically be able to see and feel in that moment that life doesn’t end here. It goes on.

Life has continued, and even though she is gone mom lives on in us. I feel her with me so often and I know she makes it a priority to check in on us. She lives on in her three children, her six grandchildren and countless friends and family members. Her spirit and who she was and what she stood for gives others inspiration.

I know she wouldn’t want me to be sad on her birthday, and I kept feeling her presence as I watched my birth mom with the littles today. They are as much my mom’s grandchildren as they are my birth mom’s. It’s beautiful, really to think about the fact that these two women who never met have a motherly (and grandmotherly) bond. I could not have spent my mom’s birthday in a better place than I did today, and for that I am thankful. My heart wasn’t as heavy today as I was dreading it to be and I know it’s because we are continuing this  crazy journey of strengthening my bond with my beautiful birth mom. Mom would not have had it any other way. Through our hardest trials and heartaches comes change and it always opens doorways to new roads to travel down. It’s pretty crazy, this life, and I am thankful to know that life and the beat goes on.

 

Happy birthday Mom.

XoXo,

Heather

The Raw Brunette